Interpretations of a Bilingual Life

La Vie En Rose

The following quote is one of my favorites:

“I haven’t been to Paris for ages.  But this evening, when you were singing, Edit….I was there…in the streets, beneath the sky.  Your voice is the soul of Paris. You took me on a journey. You made me cry. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

It comes from the movie “Le Vie En Rose.” If you haven’t seen it, go and rent it tonight! It’ll touch your heart. It’s about one of the most famous French singers ever, Edit Piaf. I won’t get into the movie, but I will share that when a woman in the movie said this to Edit I had to quickly pause the film and write it down. Edit is singing in America and in the crowd there is a very well known fellow Francophone. I can’t remember who this woman is, but she is utterly touched my Edit’s singing. In fact, as she states in the quote she hadn’t been in Paris for ages, but that evening when Edit sang, she was there…in Paris.

There are so many reasons why this quote practically brought tears to my eyes. Not only did it reinforce how powerful language can be, but it confirmed what I always suspected or felt when I heard Spanish being spoken after we moved into a predominately anglo city. There was a sense of “being home” …a sense of intimacy.

If you think about it, it makes perfect sense. One of our five senses is hearing. For instance, how many times have you eaten something that reminded of your abuelita? Or how many have you smelled the perfume you mother used to wear and instantly you are taken back in time? It’s the same way with language especially if you are hearing your foreign language in a foreign city/country after so much time has passed.

Language is tied to your identity….to who you are and to who you were….wherever you may be.

How Washington,D.C. re-shaped my identity as a Mexican-American.

I never really felt proud to be an American. In addition, I never really could relate to history courses in high school and college, but I couldn’t exactly figure out why. All of that changed when I visited Washington, D.C. for the very first time a few years ago. I was going there to take a course at the Center for Applied Linguistics in Dual Language Teaching Methods.

I was there with three other fellow teachers. We were all part of pilot dual language (two-way immersion) program in Kansas City, MO. As soon as we landed and took a taxi to our hotel (which was near Dupont Circle where all the embassies are located…very cool) I caught a glimpse of the city and many of the monuments.  I was reminded of Rome, Italy and the long walks my sister and I took to see all of their monuments and museums. I was looking forward to venturing out into the city to do just the same. I had heard about Arlington Cemetary, the Lincoln Memorial, and the Smithsonians of course and was looking forward to simply enjoying another large city in the U.S.

After our classes ended we ventured out into the city. I, of course, had to go see the Celia Cruz (a.k.a The Queen of Salsa) exhibit at one of the Smithsonians.  The ladies I was with wanted to go to the National Archives, the Vietnam Memorial, and Arlington Cemetary. Quite honestly, all I wanted to do was check out the Smithsonians and the Holocaust museum. I wasn’t really interested in seeing all the “original” documents in the National Archives. I went nonetheless.

If you have ever been to Washington, D.C. you probably have experienced something similar. Once you “get over” the excitment about seeing these amazing monuments at our nations capital, you will probably start to reflect on ALL the names on the Vietnam wall, the statues of “real people” near the Lincoln Memorial, the pictures of actual soldiers at the Arlington Cemetary. And you will start to reflect and think about what their lives must of been like. What their families must have gone through. I usually don’t say or feel this way about veterans, but I felt a sense of gratefulness for having people willing to go fight for our freedom, but also a sense of guilt for not feeling this way before….I can’t explain it. If you ever have a chance to go you may also realize that D.C. can be a little depressing…especially after visiting the Holocaust museum.

One of the last places we visited was the National Archives and it was there that I finally realized why I never felt a sense of pride for being American, nor did I feel like I fit in….as I am writing this, I still lack the words to describe exactly how I feel. There’s a sense of disconnect. At any rate, in the National Archives there is this wall and on the wall there are a series of questions. If you can answer “yes” to one of the questions then there is a possibility that you  or your family has some sort of record in the archives. After answering “no” to several questions in a row I had to pause. Thats when it hit me! My family has NO history recorded in the National Archives. Many of the records are from before the time my parents immigrated to the U.S. I know this may sound irrelavent to many people, but if you could only have lived in my skin, only then could you understand.

So, how did my visit to D.C. re-shape my identity has a Mexaican-American? Well, it took me a while shortly after my trip to D.C. to feel a sense of American pride. I’m proud that my generation, the first-born and raised in the USA, is recording history as Mexican-Americans. There are still times when I feel a sense of disconnect, but for the most part I can pinpoint where I stand today as a Latina in the US and how my generation will and has shaped US history. As I type the final words to this posting I’m still a little unsure if I realize how my identity was re-shaped by this extraordinary visit. Maybe it’s because my identity is constantly evolving….

Language Varieties in the American School System.

I recently submitted a final paper to my Literacy & Culture class @ UT. The topic was: The Use of Language During a Read Aloud. For those of you who aren’t familiar with “read alouds” they basically consist of the teacher reading a book to the class. They serve several purposes from reading for pleasure to teaching social activism.

In previous posts I have mentioned my reservations with the use of language varieties by the teacher in the classroom. In a more recent post I mentioned that my views about the use of language varieties in the classroom was changing. I think I may have made a major shift. After the pilot project I implemented in a 3rd grade bilingual class room I do believe that the use of code-switching and Spanglish in the classroom is ok. Really, it is. Let me further explain.

I decided to read four books to a class of bilingual children. There was obviously a spectrum of language proficiencies in the classroom. Not all children were “fully” bilingual. Some were Spanish dominant and others relied on code-switching more. As I was saying I read four books. One was a monolingual English book, one was a monolingual Spanish book, and the other two were code-switching books. When I read each book I, as the teacher, stuck with the language the book was written in. So, for example if there was code-switching in the book I code-switched whenever I spoke to the students. It was quite liberating!

Here were some of the things I noticed. The majority of the children chose to use the language I was using, which was also the language the book was written in. Here’s the interesting point. During the monolingual read alouds the conversations about the books related strictly to the content in the book. During the read aloud of the code-switching books, or what I was calling the culturally and linguistically relevant books, the conversations were not only about the content in the books, but about the children’s home lives! In fact, when I asked them to respond to a dilemma one of the characters was experiencing, which was one they could relate to; I found that the use of language for the written responses was irrelevant to the language I was using or the one the book was written in!!!

After I was done writing my 20 page paper I learned that if we use the language varieties the children bring into the classroom as a learning tool rather than focusing on getting them to constantly produce Standard  English or Standard Spanish, then maybe we will also develop critical thinkers! And by nurturing critical thinkers the language development will follow. That being said, if I were still a classroom teacher I would still make sure my lessons included the use of all language varieties including my pursuit of developing Standard Spanish or Standard English.

Do certain words hold more value than others?

The other evening, while sharing some drinks at the local pub with some friends, we got to talking about food. Big surprise. If you know me, you know that I love food. Not a big cook, but really do enjoy yummy food.

Well I guess the conversation was a little unique because one of our friends there is a private chef. At any rate, we were talking about food and then we got into talking about the names of some food. At any rate, I remembered the first time I went into Central Market about 10 years ago, here in Austin. I started sharing how I was there to buy dinner. I was perusing their delicious cooked meals when the guy behind the counter asked, “What can I get for you tonight?” I had my eye on the “souffle,” but couldn’t make up my mind. So, I went ahead and said, “Umm I’ll have the “so-full.” The guy laughed and said, “Do you mean the “souffle?” I really didn’t care that he laughed. I giggled back and said, “Oh. Is that how you say it? Yes, the “souffle (holding the accent on the “e” a little longer than he did).” At any rate, as I was sharing this story with our friends my significant other says, “Suzanne, you aren’t actually supposed to admit that happened.”

I immediately said, “Really? Why can’t I mispronounce a French word, like souffle, when so many people mispronouce “quesadilla (qweh-sa-dilla)” or “salsa (sahlza).” I could go on and on with the mispronounciations I have heard, really all my life. He got the point.

That’s when it occurred to me. Do certain words hold more value than others? Is it the same as the perception that certain accents hold more value than others? For example, French vs. Mexican. Even local US accents. For instance, West coast vs. middle of America.

¿Quein sabe? No en serio…¿quien sabe? ¿Que opinan?

English sans rules!

What I love about English is that we adapt many words from other languages into our vocabulary. In fact, many times the words remain in tact. Such as the word, “sans” it is purely French, yet we use it in our everyday language.

As I delve into my doctoral studies the more at ease I feel about using “language.” There are so many language varieties to choose from really. Except we don’t usually get to choose them, they’re the ones who make us who we are. They reflect where we have been and where we come from. What’s interesting, and at times, difficult for some to realize or understand, is the more fluent you are in any language variety, the easier it is for you to switch from one to another. Take “borrowing (a.k.a Spanglish)” some would argue that it’s actually quite a skill to be able to “borrow”  and code-switch between Spanish, English, and Spanglish. I found this really hard to believe UNTIL two things happened to me. One: living, seeing, and experiencing Texas and TWO: reading Killer Cronicas: Bilingual Memories by Susana Chavez-Silverman.

How does this all relate to “English sans rules?” Well, its quite simple. For as much criticism as many non-dominant language varieties get from the African-American Vernacular English to Spanglish dialects; we have to remember that English is one particular language that does not have an “academy” to over see its “proper” usage! It is fluid. Thats the beauty of English. For instance, as I mentioned in an earlier post, in English, we tend to hyphenate words in order to describe something, like “passion-driven” writing.

Doesn’t that make you wonder why we don’t have “accent academies?” I mean really, as much as I favor the language academies that maintain languages such as Spanish and French, they do seem a little pretentious. Think about it. If there’s a “proper” way of using language, doesn’t that imply that there is a “proper” way of pronouncing words? Hmm…that would make for an interesting argument. Wouldn’t it?

Flying Stand-by

Have you ever flown “stand-by?” Well neither have I, but I’m trying to plan a trip to Europe this summer with the intentions of flying stand-by and boy is it…hmm whats the right word….phrase maybe….oh! I know like you’re in limbo. There are so many uncertainties, unpredictable events depending on where we land. Did I mention we are willing to take ANY non-stop flight? Well, as I began to try and think about what our 3-week adventure through Europe might look like I started to feel insecure about the trip and really simply not knowing how to negotiate costs. I felt a sort of uneasiness and you know what thats when it hit me! As a “native US bilingual” individual I have felt like I have been flying standby all my life between Spanish and English!!!

I can remember as a child being stunned after watching my abuelita smoke a cigerratte AND in our own house! My parents never allowed anyone to smoke in our house and there she was smoking a cigarette with a beer in the other hand. As I stood there in disbelief the words couldn’t come out of my mouth fast enough. I wasn’t sure how to say “to smoke,” but I worked around it by shouting, “Abuelita, tu smokas!!” Y en ese momento nadie pudo aguantar las carcajadas/And at that moment no one could hold back their laughter. I was utterly embarressed I chose the wrong word….sort of, right.

So, as I was saying all my life I have felt as if I were flying standby between English and Spanish. There were always so many uncertainties like am I making up a word or should I say the adjective first in a sentence and then the noun? There were also so many unpredictable events especially when my parents Spanish-speaking friends would come over. I would always think, “Oh great! Not only am I going to have to kiss their cheek (and ALL of them), but Im also going to have to use Spanish.” Believe it or not it wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I felt a little less insecure about using Spanish. As I mentioned earlier, flying standby can be hard to negotiate costs, events, and planning for that matter. This is how I have felt about being bilingual for many, many years. So, how do I feel now? Better. Now I feel like I at least know which country I’m landing in and that Ill be able to get around, but know that every once in a while there may be a word or two I don’t know AND when that does happen Ill resort to the most appropriate language variety for that particular context.

Ciao, Au’revoir, Adios, Good-bye, and Adieus.

Speakin’ like a Texan/Tejana!

When I first moved to Texas 14 years ago I swore that I would never, absolutely never, speak like a Texan. Guess what? I kinda, sorta am! In fact, I swore that I would never speak like a “Texan” or a “Tejana.” I didn’t for many, many years up until I moved back  for the second time about 2 years ago. I guess it took TWO moves to Texas to get me to assimilate just a little bit.

What’s even more interesting or obnoxious depending on who is reading this posting is that it took pursuing a doctoral degree in bilingual & bicultural education to convince me that it was okay to speak like a Texan or Tejana! Lately, I find myself saying y’all and code-switching left and right and I feel more comfortable with my use of all the language varieties I speak.

In an earlier posting I mentioned that I was tired of speaking Spanish. After taking a deep breathe and reflecting more on my readings about the use of language varieties I am more and more comfortable with code-switching when I don’t know the word in Spanish. Or if I can’t remember the word in English I’ll just reference the Spanish one. It’s great!

All of this has led me to research what most of Texas uses to teach English: The Transitional Bilingual Education Model. I’m curious as to how teachers balance the use of language varieties in the classroom. More specifically, I’m curious to see how students fair in terms of standadrdized test scores after being exposed to multiple language varieties (e.g. Standard English, Standard Spanish, constant code-switching, borrowing (a.k.a Spanglish)

Bueno…haber lo que resulta….we’ll see what comes of this!

Saludos!

Second Language Acquisition for the Masses!

There’s a song by Celia Cruz, the Queen of Salsa (but of course you already know that) that repeats the following phrase, “Sin Clave No Hay Son!” This song explains perfectly to me as to why the US is still one of those countries where many individuals are not bilingual. We haven’t found the KEY to set the rhythm in creating a bilingual nation. I wanted to include a small part of this song, but couldn’t resist including a little more from the Queen of Salsa.

Throughout the song she goes on to describe our world and how some things can’t exist without the other:

Es que hay verdades sin discusión
Sin clave no hay son
La vida existe si no hay pasión
Sin clave no hay son
No hay esperanza sin ilusiones
Y no hay engaño sin decepción
Amor sincero sin corazón
Y sin clave no hay son
No hay mal que no haga ven mal
No hay destierro sin dolor
Injusticia sin final
Enseñanza sin error
No hay calma sin temporales
No hay barco sin madrigal
No hay tirano sin temor
Hay millonarios sin plata
No pecado sin perdón
No hay mercenario sin paga
No hay santo sin religión
No hay astilla sin mulata
Hay novia sin serenata
Pero sin clave no hay son
Es que hay verdades sin discusión
Sin clave no hay son
La vida existe si no hay pasión
Sin clave no hay son

If you have read parts of my blog you will know that my mind is always in “language mode” in every imaginable way. After discussing the work Paolo Freire (well known Brazilian educator in my literacy and culture course), this idea dawned on me. Maybe one reason the masses haven’t been convinced about learning addtional languages is because we haven’t found the right key to convince them or maybe the most suitable methodology to teach them how to speak, say Spanish. Maybe we need to start somewhere else? Maybe we have been putting together all the wrong pieces. Afterall, como canta la reina de salsa “sin clave no hay son!”

What is it that we need to consider? Is it something like what Freire did with literacy? He, and I know very little about this (I’m eager to research it some more), basically used the vocabulary words the individuals learning how to read knew the meaning of in order to teach reading. In other words, the words they knew the meaning of became their foundation for learning how to read. I’m considering this idea because one of the arguments of the opponents of bilingual education is “Why should we teach children to be bilingual if they come to our schools with language deficiencies? Shouldn’t we just teach them in English, the language they need to be successful?” Research has proved that statement wrong, BUT still what if there is another way of teaching a second language that may attract/convince the masses about the value in acquiring a second language?

I’m not saying that there aren’t effective teaching methods. I’m just curious as to whether or not there’s a teaching method that may convince the masses about learning additional languages.

Maybe I’m totally off here???

“Quan, go home now!” (In English, but with a Vietnamese accent)!

So, there are times when being “politically correct (pc)” just isn’t going to get the message across especially when there’s language barrier.

I was reminded of this particular story this past weekend. Every Presidents day weekend for the past 3 years a group of friends I met in graduate school get together to catch up on life and share our teaching experiences. During one of our conversations about teaching second language learners I retold this story and it goes a little something like this….

In 2005 I was an ESL kindergarten teacher. Most of my students came from Spanish-speaking homes, except for little Quan. His family was from Vietnam. In fact, he had just moved to Kansas City, MO that very school year. He came wearing linen shorts, sandals, and a shirt, which I’m sure  was very appropriate in the hot and muggy weather of Vietnam. He became close friends with the only other recent immigrant in our class, except the other little boy was from Mexico, like the rest of the kids.

I noticed that Quan was feeling insecure about, not only speaking English, but that he was a different second language learner in my class. In fact, during our morning meeting I had asked all students to share where they were from. Most of my students were from Mexico, but I had a few from Honduras and El Salvador. When it was Quans turn he cautiously looked around the group and in a whisper said, he too was from Mexico. I decided to look up a few Vietnemese words like, good morning and goodbye in order to bridge the language gap between he and I.

As the year went on he spoke single words here and there and eventually got used to the classroom routines. Now, speaking to his parents was whole different story. They didn’t speak a single word in English, except “no English.” Trying to schedule parent-teacher conferences was impossible. I usually sent a date and time with Quan on a piece of paper or if I were lucky to have his aunt pick him up then I could tell her.

Well on this particular snowy day at about noon the snow was falling faster and faster. Due to the snow piling up on the roads our school district decided to end the school day early. Our principal had one condition. She said we must call all of our parents and as soon as the last student leaves we can go home. Well I thought it would a breeze afterall I speak Spanish, no problem, but then there was Quan. I quickly remembered past attempts to communicate with his parents or anyone living in his home. I thought to myself, “Oh no! Great! No one campus can translate. What am I going to do about Quan?” I decided that I would call his house and cross my fingers.

First attempt:

Me: Hello. This is Ms. Mateus from “schools name.” Im calling because its a snow day……

Resident: =something in Vietnamese= “No English!”

End of Conversation.

Great, I thought. That was lovely. Meanwhile Quan is looking at me like, “Hey, where are all my friends going?” No one in class spoke Vietnamese and no one at my school could translate. So there we were.

Second Attempt: I decided I would use key words and shorter sentences.

Me: Hi. It’s Ms. Mateus. Umm. Its snowing, so Quan can go home.

Resident: =something in Vietnamese= “No English!”

End of conversation.

Well that didn’t work either. It had been an hour since I called the first parent. Quan was busy playing with toys now and oblivious to what I was trying to do. Great. I thought. What do I do? Well, I had just returned from a trip to California and remembered my brother-in-law speaking in English with a Vietnamese accent! He grew up in a Vietnamese neighborhood in Southern California and would often times speak in English with a Vietnamese accent, along with share stories about growing up there. He said, that the only way some of the kids would understand him was if he spoke English like they did. At the time he was telling the stories I thought it was hilarous, but so not “pc.”

So, I couldn’t believe I was even considering doing it, but I was. I was desperate. Afterall, I lived about 20 minutes away and had to drive on the interstate. I looked at Quan, then at the clock. I looked outside the window and could see the snow just falling and falling. I looked outside my classroom door to make sure no one could hear me. I looked at the phone, took a deep breathe and said, well here goes nothing.

Third Attempt: I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t speak in English with a Vietnamese accent, so I spoke slowy and loudly. Horrible isn’t, so not PC.

Me: HI. IT’S MS. MATEUS. QUAN CAN GO HOME. ITS SNOWING. COME AND….

Resident: With a loud voice said something in Vietnamese and then, “NO ENGLISH!!!!!”

End of conversation.

I quickly redialed.

Fourth Attempt:

Me: With a thick Vietnamese accent-”Quan go home now.” I repeated it several times with the same accent my brother-in-law had used a few weeks earlier.

Resident: said something in Vietnamese and hung up.

“I can’t believe it! I think it actually worked!” I said to Quan. He just looked at me with a puzzled look. I was a little embarressed that I resorted to something not “pc”, but I didn’t know any other way to communicate. About 10 minutes later his mom was at my classroom door with a big smile. She bowed her head. Quan ran to her with a big smile. Shortly thereafter they went home and so did I!

Killer Crónicas: Bilingual Memories by Susana Chávez-Silverman

I bought this book, “Killer Cronicas,” today at my favorite locally owned bookstore in Santa Ana, C.A. called Libreria Martinez. My sister Sarah Rafael Garcia introduced me to the bookstore when she did her first reading there this past summer. I enjoy going to this bookstore when I visit partially because the owner, Rueben Martinez, is so friendly and excited about all of his books, but also because it has quite an array of Latino books there. Everything from children’s, teenage, and adult texts color the bookshelves of this well known establishment. The owner was recently honored in the Ornage Country Register as holding a “PhD in Life.” If you were to walk into his bookstore you would certainly feel as if you had known him all your life. He has that kind of energy and charisma with people.At any rate, the reason I’m writing this post is because I picked up a book that called out to me. The author, Susana Chavez-Silverman,  reminded me of someone I could become. In short, her book is a memoir, of her experiences as a bilingual individual living here in the US and abroad. She offers an interesting perspective. It made me realize that sometimes language experiences can be told as they are. It also made me realize that the interpretations I am telling are very hmm analytical? Maybe very much a proactive, hands-on analysis of my language experiences…maybe my readers can tell me.