Interpretations of a Bilingual Life

Do certain words hold more value than others?

The other evening, while sharing some drinks at the local pub with some friends, we got to talking about food. Big surprise. If you know me, you know that I love food. Not a big cook, but really do enjoy yummy food.

Well I guess the conversation was a little unique because one of our friends there is a private chef. At any rate, we were talking about food and then we got into talking about the names of some food. At any rate, I remembered the first time I went into Central Market about 10 years ago, here in Austin. I started sharing how I was there to buy dinner. I was perusing their delicious cooked meals when the guy behind the counter asked, “What can I get for you tonight?” I had my eye on the “souffle,” but couldn’t make up my mind. So, I went ahead and said, “Umm I’ll have the “so-full.” The guy laughed and said, “Do you mean the “souffle?” I really didn’t care that he laughed. I giggled back and said, “Oh. Is that how you say it? Yes, the “souffle (holding the accent on the “e” a little longer than he did).” At any rate, as I was sharing this story with our friends my significant other says, “Suzanne, you aren’t actually supposed to admit that happened.”

I immediately said, “Really? Why can’t I mispronounce a French word, like souffle, when so many people mispronouce “quesadilla (qweh-sa-dilla)” or “salsa (sahlza).” I could go on and on with the mispronounciations I have heard, really all my life. He got the point.

That’s when it occurred to me. Do certain words hold more value than others? Is it the same as the perception that certain accents hold more value than others? For example, French vs. Mexican. Even local US accents. For instance, West coast vs. middle of America.

¿Quein sabe? No en serio…¿quien sabe? ¿Que opinan?

Flying Stand-by

Have you ever flown “stand-by?” Well neither have I, but I’m trying to plan a trip to Europe this summer with the intentions of flying stand-by and boy is it…hmm whats the right word….phrase maybe….oh! I know like you’re in limbo. There are so many uncertainties, unpredictable events depending on where we land. Did I mention we are willing to take ANY non-stop flight? Well, as I began to try and think about what our 3-week adventure through Europe might look like I started to feel insecure about the trip and really simply not knowing how to negotiate costs. I felt a sort of uneasiness and you know what thats when it hit me! As a “native US bilingual” individual I have felt like I have been flying standby all my life between Spanish and English!!!

I can remember as a child being stunned after watching my abuelita smoke a cigerratte AND in our own house! My parents never allowed anyone to smoke in our house and there she was smoking a cigarette with a beer in the other hand. As I stood there in disbelief the words couldn’t come out of my mouth fast enough. I wasn’t sure how to say “to smoke,” but I worked around it by shouting, “Abuelita, tu smokas!!” Y en ese momento nadie pudo aguantar las carcajadas/And at that moment no one could hold back their laughter. I was utterly embarressed I chose the wrong word….sort of, right.

So, as I was saying all my life I have felt as if I were flying standby between English and Spanish. There were always so many uncertainties like am I making up a word or should I say the adjective first in a sentence and then the noun? There were also so many unpredictable events especially when my parents Spanish-speaking friends would come over. I would always think, “Oh great! Not only am I going to have to kiss their cheek (and ALL of them), but Im also going to have to use Spanish.” Believe it or not it wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I felt a little less insecure about using Spanish. As I mentioned earlier, flying standby can be hard to negotiate costs, events, and planning for that matter. This is how I have felt about being bilingual for many, many years. So, how do I feel now? Better. Now I feel like I at least know which country I’m landing in and that Ill be able to get around, but know that every once in a while there may be a word or two I don’t know AND when that does happen Ill resort to the most appropriate language variety for that particular context.

Ciao, Au’revoir, Adios, Good-bye, and Adieus.

Speakin’ like a Texan/Tejana!

When I first moved to Texas 14 years ago I swore that I would never, absolutely never, speak like a Texan. Guess what? I kinda, sorta am! In fact, I swore that I would never speak like a “Texan” or a “Tejana.” I didn’t for many, many years up until I moved back  for the second time about 2 years ago. I guess it took TWO moves to Texas to get me to assimilate just a little bit.

What’s even more interesting or obnoxious depending on who is reading this posting is that it took pursuing a doctoral degree in bilingual & bicultural education to convince me that it was okay to speak like a Texan or Tejana! Lately, I find myself saying y’all and code-switching left and right and I feel more comfortable with my use of all the language varieties I speak.

In an earlier posting I mentioned that I was tired of speaking Spanish. After taking a deep breathe and reflecting more on my readings about the use of language varieties I am more and more comfortable with code-switching when I don’t know the word in Spanish. Or if I can’t remember the word in English I’ll just reference the Spanish one. It’s great!

All of this has led me to research what most of Texas uses to teach English: The Transitional Bilingual Education Model. I’m curious as to how teachers balance the use of language varieties in the classroom. More specifically, I’m curious to see how students fair in terms of standadrdized test scores after being exposed to multiple language varieties (e.g. Standard English, Standard Spanish, constant code-switching, borrowing (a.k.a Spanglish)

Bueno…haber lo que resulta….we’ll see what comes of this!

Saludos!

Killer Crónicas: Bilingual Memories by Susana Chávez-Silverman

I bought this book, “Killer Cronicas,” today at my favorite locally owned bookstore in Santa Ana, C.A. called Libreria Martinez. My sister Sarah Rafael Garcia introduced me to the bookstore when she did her first reading there this past summer. I enjoy going to this bookstore when I visit partially because the owner, Rueben Martinez, is so friendly and excited about all of his books, but also because it has quite an array of Latino books there. Everything from children’s, teenage, and adult texts color the bookshelves of this well known establishment. The owner was recently honored in the Ornage Country Register as holding a “PhD in Life.” If you were to walk into his bookstore you would certainly feel as if you had known him all your life. He has that kind of energy and charisma with people.At any rate, the reason I’m writing this post is because I picked up a book that called out to me. The author, Susana Chavez-Silverman,  reminded me of someone I could become. In short, her book is a memoir, of her experiences as a bilingual individual living here in the US and abroad. She offers an interesting perspective. It made me realize that sometimes language experiences can be told as they are. It also made me realize that the interpretations I am telling are very hmm analytical? Maybe very much a proactive, hands-on analysis of my language experiences…maybe my readers can tell me.

Language is fluid….

“Language is fluid.” Something I heard at La Cosecha Conference a few years ago in New Mexico. The comment has sort of been implanted in my mind since then. Everytime I contemplate or try to make sense of the use of language in my life I remember this statement made by a researcher from the Center for Applied Linguistics (www.cal.org). English is fluid and one of the characteristics that I  love about it is that it is very fluid. Partially because we don’t have a “language academy” regulating the “proper” use of terms. Don’t get me wrong, for many different reasons I wish the English language did have an “academy,” just as I wish the US had an official language, actually I wish it had two official languages, English & Spanish. For instance, for some time now I have been evaluating the use of hyphenated words in the English language.  We use them all the time, informally and formally.A couple of my friends, one from Spain and the other from Venezuela, pointed out how versatile hyphenated words are in English, something they haven’t really experienced as much in Spanish. Since then I have seen them everywhere! On advertisements, in my own blog, and in social settings. I did a little research of my own and found several websites, most by English professors, describing the rules behind the use of hyphenated words. Apparently, if you are using a hyphenated words such as, “big-eared,” an adjective, then it must be hyphenated, just like “passion-driven writing.” I also learned that words go through various phases before they become “one word,” like the word “database,” at one point it was considered two words. The hyphenated version may actually be a phase depending on how “catchy” the word is, it may actually become one word! See how fluid English can be. Both my friends that brought this to my attention said that sure there are hyphenated words in Spanish, but they’re not used or invented as loosely as they are in English. I love it!As I was thinking about this it dawned on me once again that IF I spent an extended amount of time in a Spanish speaking country these are the sort of observations I may make on my own. Once again I yearn to live in a Spanish speaking country to further my exploration of how I acquire a second language, but also to notice all of the  little details that constitute a language.

Language within your domain…

Since I have ventured in my doctoral studies and since I’ve started this blog I have had several individuals ask me about how they can teach other people, like their children, Spanish. I have my own ideals of what the process of language acquisition should be like, but the more I research it, think about it, and experience it, I am more and more convinced that if you want to pass the interest of learning a new language to someone else you should do it in a way that is most natural to you. In other words, sure there are methodologies or best practices, but ultimately you do what is most natural to you. Even when I research how I “should” teach a second language, the times my lessons have been the most engaging are when I am being myself. Sure the methodologies I am familiar with make my lessons more effective, but I am thinking about a few of my friends who have shared an interest in passing Spanish on to their kids. Recently, I shared with a friend, after she was expressing her dilemmas with teaching Spanish to her kids, the fact that her kids were being exposed to Spanish can make difference. The exposure may strike an interest as they get older. The sad truth is that language is the first thing families lose the longer they are in their new country. This is one reason why I am firm believer that everyone in the US should learn a second language, and I say this with great conviction. I believe it should be a requirement from the time a child enters school! Playing an instrument would also be nice. I know I may be reaching for the stars with that one. Either way as I delve into my Phd studies and try to narrow my research interests these are the issues I contemplate. 

The influence of my mother-tongue…

I made an interesting observation this past year. This is related to our identities and the language(s) we speak. My sister had the first grandchild in January of this year amongst my sisters and I. I met Rafael about six weeks after he was born. Like any new Tia I was super excited and ready to hold and kiss him. Interestingly enough the first few utterances that came out of my mouth and continue to do so were in Spanish. It wasn’t something I planned. It just happened. Sure I use English, but Spanish comes out when I’m feeding him or giving him kisses. I think it’s because my mother always spoke to us in Spanish. It’s the language I associate with when communicating with my nephew. It’s the influence of my mother-tongue. We resort to what we find natural, to what we know. 

Nurturing my language awareness…

In one of my recent blogs I complained about being tired of speaking Spanish, but I’m beginning to think that not speaking it and not being as aware about how I use it has been detrimental to what I write about on this blog. I really haven’t had a language experience to reference! So, I’m going to, “continuar con la lucha,” continue with the struggle. In a way it is a struggle, but in other ways it’s what keeps me curious about how we acquire language, how we create identities based on the language(s) we speak, and how we develop bilingual and bicultural lives.So, onward I go. As I have said in previous blog posting I am turning on my Spanish switch once again.  

West to East Side of Austin..a different flare!

Saturday morning started out with a yawn, a stretch, and a fresh cup of coffee! The fresh cup of coffee was key to getting Marquitos out of bed to head to my favorite place in Austin, Lady Bird Lake (a.ka. Town Lake) I have to admit I had a little resentment towards the new name, until I realized that the woman who funded the wonderful place had recently passed away,  and thats why it is now called,”Lady Bird Lake.” Well she certainly lived up to her name, Lady Bird.

Some of my best days have been ones that were unplanned and slightly unpredicatable. Had I known that I would be cruising around central and east Austin until 7PM I might have worn something other than what I went to sleep in! Saturday was certainly one of those days. I had every intention of walking 4 miles with Marcus as we have plenty of Saturday mornings. As we were walking from my car to the lake I couldn’t help but take a fresh breathe, hug Marcus as we walked, and say, like I always do, “I love this place! Too bad we can’t live closer to it!” Just as we were walking onto the trail I noticed a man at a table soliciting some information. I’m always curious to see what sort of solicitations people are promoting at the lake. Well it turned out to be some organization that was trying to Keep Austin Beautiful! Before we knew it, we were grabbing a large trash bag, some sort of trash picker-upper device and slipping our hands into protective gloves. Yup, thats right, we were picking up trash at the lake. So much for our 4 mile, heart pumping, eye-pleasing, fresh-air smelling walk!!! I have to admit we weren’t doing this because we are such whole hearted, intrinsically driven individuals. If you found the “easy to find” envelopes and returned by 11am you could win wonderful prizes to Austin original venues, like The Alamo Draft House! Needless to say we never found an envelope, but we filled up the hefty, hefty trash bags.

During our trash picking up escapade we got a little bitter especially because we weren’t finding any envelopes. We started imagining all the individuals that could have dumped their trash at our beautiful lake. We found everything from a deflated soccer ball to high-end beer bottles! The hour sort of flew by, but I was really regretting not enjoying my 4 mile walk. Marcus, being the reflective person that he is, reminded me that we were simply doing our part in Keeping Austin Beautiful. “Oh right, ok Marquitos,” I replied.

From there we met my sister and an old friend at Joe’s Bakery and Mexican Cafe on E. 7th Street. Wow! If you have ever seen a movie from Bollywood, you would totally get what Im about to describe, except this would be a Mexican version of Bollywood!

So, as I was saying we met up with my sister and an old friend who grew up in East Austin and recently returned to live in his old neighborhood. For those of you who aren’t familar with Austin the East side is being revitalized, gentrified etc etc It really just depends on who you are speaking to. At any rate, it’s changing. The restaurant is your typical colorful Mexican restuarant. It even has La Virgen de Guadalupe in one corner. What I’m about to describe is what actually makes this place unique. First of all, this Satueday morning was the morning of a huge UT football game day. Mostly everyone there was wearing burnt orange and the restaurant was playing UT songs. Occasionally, about half the people in the restaurant would raise their fists and proudly sing the “Texas Fight” song and “The Eyes of Texas!” I swear it was like being in a Mexican Bollywood movie. Practically everyone in the restuarant was Hispanic and I’m willing to bet Mexican-American.

From there we went to “Rabbits,” a dive bar in E.Austin. If I had to describe this place in three phrases I would say something like, inexpensive imported beer, live Austin music, and friendly people. We stayed there for a little while…

I ended my day appreciating and loving the city I live in even more. I love that I belong to two different cultures. I helped keep our lake beautiful with fellow walkers, who were all anglo, but I can also hop over to the east side of Austin and fit right in with Latinos eating a traditional  Mexican breakfast while singing The Eyes of Texas!

*This weekend actually occurred about a month ago. 

Bilingual Dilemmas Comment Response

Yes, I am being too hard on myself, but I cant help it Im a little obsessed with language. I don’t have a distaste for Spanish. I think it’s normal to have these sentiments. Ill eventually grow out of this phase and move right back in…it’s the way I get by. As I mentioned in the section “About my blog” I write these thoughts and experiences about my bilingual life in order to better understand language, culture and identity. I try to compare and relate them to the experiences my students may be going through in order to inform my research interests. Thanks for your advice….it helps mujer!